A Home Of Love

Unmasking Manipulation // Our Experience with Spiritual Abuse

Armando and Sheila Ramos

In this video, we share our experience with spiritual abuse and unmask manipulation. Watch to learn more about recognizing and overcoming manipulation tactics.

“The “Can’t Talk” Rule The most powerful of all unspoken rules in the abusive system is what we have already termed the “can’t-talk” rule. The “can’t-talk” has this thinking behind it: “The real problem cannot be exposed because then it would have to be dealt with and things would have to change; so it must be protected behind walls of silence (neglect) or by assault (legalistic attack). If you speak about the problem out loud, you are the problem. In some way you must be silenced or eliminated.” Those who do speak out are most often told, “We didn’t have all these problems until you started shooting your mouth off. Everything was fine before you started stirring things up.” Or else, to make it sound really spiritual, “You were angry—you didn’t confront the matter in a ‘loving’ way. So it proves you weren’t handling the matter in a mature, Christian manner.” In either case, the problem remains. The truth is, when people talk about problems out loud they don’t cause them, they simply expose them.

There is no such thing as a perfect family or church where people don’t ever get hurt. But the difference between an abusive and a non-abusive system is that while hurtful behaviors might happen in both, it is not permissible to talk about problems, hurts and abuses in the abusive system. Hence, there is no healing and restoration after the wound has occurred, and the victim is made to feel at fault for questioning or pointing out the problem.”
📚The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse

17 But to keep it from spreading further among the people and the nation, let us [sternly] warn them not to speak again to anyone in this name.” 18 So they sent for them, and commanded them not to speak [as His representatives] or teach at all in the name of Jesus [using Him as their authority]. 19 But Peter and John replied to them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you and obey you rather than God, you must judge [for yourselves]; 20 for we, on our part, cannot stop telling [people] about what we have seen and heard.” (‭‭‭Acts‬ ‭4‬‬:‭17‬-‭20‬ ‭AMP‬‬)

The Open Letter That Was Ignored By Leadership:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SiEAzuvO785hANVMTsZwGDWSTrAv4AEv/view?usp=sharing

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